I never thought I'd fall in love (7/13/04)

I never thought I'd miss you this much. I knew I was sprung from the start and this love thing baby you've truly got my heart. When it comes to our lives I pray that we never part. The thought of you leaving me my brain can't even begin to start... The thought. Baby I forever belong to you. Many hate the thought of the love we've found in each other it may be us against the world and with that in cool long as I'm against them loving you.

              You've changed me for the better and made me forget that I've been through the worst. You've melted away pain I thought I'd carry until my dying day yet with one swift motion you've wiped the pain away. I never thought I'd fall in love and I never thought I'd be moved to be a better me.

Invisible dreams

I often dream of the day we'll be together the day you don't look through me but you actually see me. The day my love and efforts don't go unnoticed and everything I've worked for becomes fruitful. The day you have a understanding that my love isn't owed to you yet you are the rightful owner. I pray that my once white walls can be vividly decorated with your love. 

           I want to feel all that is you , mind , body , soul and spirit. I want to be seen I want your eyes to light up when I walk in a room as they dance up and down my spine. I want to be the reason air escapes your lungs and you feel you can't breathe and my love restores you. I want to be close to you like a second skin I want to be a part of you. I want to join your world I want to be noticed I want to be remembered but I'm just a invisible dream

The end is near

Our relationship is no longer on track it's clear love is what we lack. So this tells me the end is near. We've become cold the love has grown old simply put on hold the end is near. Our friendship has gone weak what use to be fun no is equal to sleep.we lack communication and mental stimulation. As much as it hurts the end is near. I'm tired of trying tired of you lying tried of pretending to be happy while with you my word is ending. I'm sorry but the end is near. As I drop my last tear I realize the end is here.

Everytime I leave I end up staying

You make me feel so low. I try to leave but you won't let me go.so I'm stuck playing the fool. I'm in and out of school chasing after you. You no longer treat me like you use to do I'm leaving you.yet you don't let me leave you get down on your knees and start begging please I'm hopeless I'm helpless, I don't leave.i give you one more chance to change. And you change you do but for the worst. You tell me lies you make me cry and why because you don't think I will leave. When my bag are at the door you beg you plead you tell  me you care , I leave but I end up staying. I see the hurt in your eyes and stay one more time. I still love you but you don't love me back. Your empty your cold my heart is your home and you could care less. I walk out the door you pull me back once more. I leave but I end up staying

Losing love

Losing love is emotional like a baby with its name. Its emotional it can confuse you like a head without a brain. Love is something you would do for someone else that you wouldn't do for yourself. Losing love is like singing a song and for getting the words it's like a boy without a girl it's like a human with no world it's like forgetting your best friends birthday that you've known since birth it's like not knowing the day you came unto this earth. It's like saying I love you with no one else in the room.Love is filled with emotion that you have to share but how can you share if no one's there it's hard to be emotional when your left by yourself just call me and always be there to help

When I loved you

When your hand touched mine you sent electric currents through my body.when I thought you were perfect it didn't matter that you weren't.when no food I've ever eaten can compare to the taste of your tongue. Nothing felt better than us being one. My heart melted at the sight of you.

              When you said there was no better place to be then inside of me when your goodbyes made my heart drop and just one word from you could always make my tears stop. When my feelings were hurt you took the pain for me.when you met my family and even my brothers liked you. When you made sure to apologize even when you weren't  wrong.id always put your name in every love song. I imagine life without you in the pain I can be there I can't go and I will without thinking about you never wanted to let you go when I had you that was the moment that I knew that I loved you

I wish

I wish someone will love me for me without taking a look at my past I wish someone will love me for me and try to pursue a future stop being stuck on what didn't last. If you stay in the past things like this will never last .I wish people could understand me see everything I have  endured from the pain to the hurt. I wish I actually know if I have people who were here for me or do I have people who want a front row seat to see. I wish I had someone who cares or I wish I felt wanted instead of alone I wish I had a friend to help me find my way to a place I can call home I wish I wish I wish to find love someone to love me forever so that I would no longer have so wish.

Lies

He told me he loves me but it's all lies I can tell by how he talks in the looks in his eyes. He tells me he cares about me and doesn't want anyone but me but it's all lies there's nothing true left to believe.

      He tells me he would never cheat on me because I am the light of his life well I guess the lights out because it was all lies . He has a different girl for every day of the week but I'm the girl he's with when he comes home to sleep. He told me he would never hurt my feelings or break my heart but it was all lies he's been lying from the start if you look at our relationship you'll see only one thing is true that our relationship was built on lies told from your point of view.

The girl behind the pin

Why would you

Why would you tell me you love me when you don't know what love is

Is it because I'm always there for you or because I have your kid

Why do you say things you don't truly mean you've told so many lies they start to come in between us.

 I would say fuck you but I can't say what I don't truly mean ,why would you do the things you do it hurt the people around you and why would you treat me the way you do when all I did was love you. Why would you break me down to build yourself up when I'm here to catch you when you fall 

when everyone else is given up why would you take me through hell when you promised me heaven on earth and I stand here and whether away why you leave me in the dirt. I loved you thought I had I gave you all that I left and I still love to wonder why just why would you

I'll live

You think just because you miss treat me no one loves me but you're wrong. I knew what you were from the beginning so I made plans so that I live

  just because you gave me life does not mean your a mother and I've been well without you so I know I live 

you think that I'm boy crazy but is not true they just show they care more than you

  I know that you don't want me in that's fine because one thing that I've learned is I live you hurt me so many times that I lost count but even with that I'll live long because I believe in myself and what lives within I've learned I'll live

Crazy

It's crazy how a friend turned into a lover I understood parts of you no one else did and I saw sides of you the world didn't know existed. I loved you and was willing to give you the world but you weren't ready you still have growing to do. You kept me because you knew I was what you needed but didn't know what to do with the fact you loved me so much you became codependent.you pushed me away enough to grow apart but close enough for no other man to have me.

          You damaged me I spent so much time fixing your broken pieces but you shattered mine in return. I Just wanted  to love and your time. It was too much and you gave to little it's crazy how a friend turned into a lover and then into a total stranger